How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
