We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
