I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
