I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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