at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
