so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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