I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
