she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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