not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
