im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
