he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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