My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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