but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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