How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize