i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
