This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
