pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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