brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
