I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
