just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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