There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
