that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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