i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
