so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
