Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
