We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize