Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
