You really coming over, don't trick.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
