Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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