I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
