how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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