Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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