So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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