I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
