Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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