I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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