Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
