The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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