I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
