eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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