You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
