Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
