I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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