I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
