worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
this is an emotional support booty call
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
