do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
