Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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