Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
