No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Holy sore nipples Batman
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
