I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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