i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
