I can tuck mytits in my pants
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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