there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sober January is a disaster.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
