He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
