you guys were way drunker than both of me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize