How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
