ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you would pick up someone in the library
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize