with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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