you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
