Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
And then he peed in my hair
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize