I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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