from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i believe in u and ur pee
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
