Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
