We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
