he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize
